No time….
February 13th, 2005
The complete lack of free time is getting to me, and it’s not letting up. In two weeks I have deliverables- one take home midterm, one exam, one paper rough draft, one freelance project, all due the same weekend. I have friends coming through next weekend to crash, and I promised them Adventures in Cooking. Work’s big deadline tomorrow had me at work all day today (going home now). Somewhere I have to do laundry, read 5 chapters of Human Resources (I think I’ve discovered an aspect of business that I have to force myself to care about), and find 40 hours of freelancing time. Hell, it’s gotten to the point where I even look at the tabletop and live action games I’m in as social obligations rather than opportunities to relax (Of the “Mike, if you don’t go you’ll go crazy from isolation” variety) . Did I mention the fulltime job? I don’t even have a guarantee that in two weeks I’ll see my time free up. Lets see- what else is causing me stress…. I have to figure out what to do with my just-received student loans of which I really only need a quarter. Pay back? Invest in the hopes that I can make money off of it in the two years before I have to start paying them off? My past experiences with playing the market have been rather negative- not because I didn’t make good selections, but because I didn’t have the time to keep up. Just letting the money rot in a savings account won’t begin to give me the kind of returns I’d need to break even with the money. *sigh* I got an invitation to a party yesterday on my answering machine that I didn’t get until 1AM. I would have loved to go, but I really… cripes. Do any of you ever have one of those moods where you really, really want to go out and have fun and relax, but some hard-line core inside of you forces you to be responsible? And then you spend part of the next day trying to come up with good sounding excuses that won’t hurt the person who invited you, and draw blanks on every last one? I’m sorry, Van. I got the message a bit too late, and by the time I got it I couldn’t bring myself to go. But that’s a dirty lie, because I would have gotten far more enjoyment and just as much productivity out of my day had I gone. And now I wouldn’t have the guilt of brushing you off weighing me down, nor the guilt of not having gone. And now, of course, I realize that I’ve been told in the past that I beat myself up with guilt too much, and I feel GUILTY for not following that advice. I used to think that I strive in stressful environments. I do, I really do, but only when my attention isn’t divided. And right now it is. I need a break. Oh well, at least I won’t notice Valentines day this year because I’ll have my head buried in an HR text.
No comments yet.