The Obligatory New Year Update (TM)

December 31st, 2005

Contrary to 2004, 2005 didn’t quite kick as much ass as I was hoping it would, but given that I’m ending it on a high note I’m certainly not complaining. Thinking about all the things that happened I have to admit that I’m amazed- so many things happened last year that I’m not even certain I can recount them all. I’ve switched jobs twice, completed another year in my MBA program, starved myself, Traveled to Phoenix, DC, Chicago, and Maine, broke up once, been infatuated more times than I care to count, paid a whole semester out-of-pocket (agh), stared into my psyche so often it’s starting to expect it, and figured out a so-far-effective method of removing all the defensive barriers and personalities I’ve established.

There have been ups and downs- I remember that January through April were pleasant if… directionless, May through August sucked royally due to a shitty job, September and October were spent in recovery, and November and on absolutely ruled. Good stories were told, and good times were had, and I feel like I’ve undergone so many personality transformations, from relaxed to arrogant to zen & accepting to ambitious to AWESOME and back again that I’m not entirely certain who I am at the moment. That’s not to say I don’t have a personality- it’s just that even with all my navelgazing I couldn’t describe who I am when prompted. No worries, then, eh? Well, lets take a look at last years resolutions:

1. Finish reading this book. Succeeded
2. Get a Washboard. FAILED (Apparently I’m not genetically disposed towards them. Or I’ve caused too much damage while fat)
3. Buy a Harp. Succeeded
4. Ace a Semester. Succeeded (I did NOT deserve those two A’s I just got)
5. Pay off my car. Succeeded
6. Rebuild my website. Succeeded
7. Get professional dance lessons. Succeeded

Overall, I’d think that they were fairly simply goals that I’ve managed to meet, but none of them really go to define the year for me, and like any good little white boy I try to put labels on everything (2004 was the Year of the Makeover, for instance). The only common theme I can point at is a continued picking away at the scabs of years and decades, tearing away useless insecurities and debunking so called ‘facts’ of my life. In many cases, I pursued aspects of my personality to a destructive degree in an effort to see where they lead (Starvation, work-till-I-drop), and in others the slightest encouragement of a small aspect lead to a revelation so profound that I will carry the memory with me forever (Maine). Thus, I think 2005 shall be known as the “Year of the Discovery”, because it also allowed me to include all the new friends I’ve discovered (Wave out to Louisiana, Kansas City, and England). It also sounds better than the Year of Identity Crisis .

Incidentally, the following paragraph’s been copied verbatim from last years post. It nevertheless still applies. So there .

Looking forward to the new year, I’m always rather amused that people use this particular event to shape their future in… forseeable chunks. “Well, *this* year…” is a strange thing to think about, because the realist will point out that if you can’t make life changes all the time, any resolutions you make aren’t likely to stick even now. So what’s so special about the new year that makes one want to do it all *now*? “I’m going to change my life this year!”… well, why do you need a new year as an excuse, right? Nevertheless, I like doing it- Fact is, I know I can make changes to my life, I can improve myself, and I know I don’t need the new year to act as a catalyst for change. To me it’s more like a “Here’s where I’d like to be in 12 months” kind of thing.

1. Pay one years tuition out of pocket. This is a 1300/month commitment.
2. Ace Two Semesters. With my own money riding on it, rather than some vague loans I need to pay off in the future, I think I’ll have a lot more committment here.
3. Read at least one non-fiction book from my reading list. I devour fiction on a regular basis. I really want to read something educational that isn’t assigned for a change.
4. Become comfortable at my current weight. I like where I am, and how I feel. I know I could stand to lose a few more, and I might try to get rid of them, but first I have to feel comfortable being me- reset my personal image, as it were.
5. Commit to creating one piece of content for my website every other week. That’s a total of 26. It took me 4 months to put out the 10-ish I have so far, so I’m not certain I will succeed. Nevertheless, I really do love to write, so this might actually be something I stick to.
6. Stay on top of email. Right now I’ve got 30 messages in my to-answer queue. I would like to get below 8 and keep it there.
7. Remain an optimist. I’m going to need help for this from all of you. Not in the “Keep me happy” way, but in the “keep yourselves happy” way. Quite a bit of my own joy comes from realizing how awesome and cool my friends and their lives are. Yes, this means I’m going to be actively attempting to improve your lives. Probably by telling you how awesome you are.
8. Make my LJ match my Website. Simple. Straightforward.
9. Decide on whether I want a PhD. I could. I even know what I’d do it in. I’m not certain I want one though.
10. Invest 3000. I honestly don’t know where I will get this money. I’m already on a really tight budget, given tuition. Still, it gives me a place to put money when I have it left over at the end of the month.

Life. Is. Good.

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