Wired
August 23rd, 2006
When I’m stressed, I start really digging Evanescence.
I’m in an interesting state right now. I’m walking around with a mental checklist, and once one task is done I immediately move on to the next one. Complete, Next. Complete, Next, just like I’m one insane little machine of productivity. No relaxation other than cooking/food, no enjoyment other than that which I find in the tasks I perform. I’m even pursuing the Cam right now as if it was just another thing on a list to look at.
I know I can’t maintain this for long, but to hit the mattress at night knowing that I’ve accomplished a ridiculous number of things is a good feeling. Yes, there are things I really need to do that keep getting put off, but even those I’m taking baby steps to deal with. These next four weeks are going to be really, really, really odd. They will be frantic activity followed by a forceful removal from it for 8 days, and then sudden reinjection- almost like going from 4000RPM on a motor to 0 and then back to 4000. It’s a level of work I haven’t been accustomed to for a while now…
I know I can relax. I choose not to, because I know I can in the future. September will be idle after the 15th, where idle means only work and classes to focus on (unless these other freelance gigs come through….). October will have ICC, November will have one less class and thanksgiving… and then december, precious December.
And yet I know now that I will fill my schedule again with crazy commitments. Something needs to be done. I need a life outside of obligations.
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