New Years Resolutions
January 1st, 2007
Let me start this out with a Very, Very Happy New Year to everyone.
In many ways, 2007 is going to be an interesting year for me. I’m fairly confident in saying that this year will probably contain my final major life transition for the foreseeable future. Yes, I know, I’ve been moving back and forth and moving faster than a caffeinated squirrel for a few years now, and if that trend continues I won’t be capable of staying in one place for any appreciable amount of time, however I’d like to eliminate a certain amount of uncertainty from my life so that any short term or long-term whims can be anchored in. Above and beyond that I would like to take a significant step on a career path, ensure my long term fiscal liquidity, and in general continue to live as awesome a life as I have been so far.
Thus, without further ado, my resolutions for this next year:
- Zero Net Worth
As we in the business world say, I am currently very highly leveraged. So highly, in fact, that if I was a business no bank in its right mind would let me borrow money. This is largely my student loans, offset by my investments and property, and given that automatic payments will reduce the prinicipal on those loans this really isn’t as difficult as you might think. Nevertheless, it’s a five digit commitment to either reduce the principal on my loans or increase my net invested assets. - Make Use of My Degree
This resolution could take many forms: Either via consulting, new employment, non profits, volunteer work or whatever else comes down the line. One of my major gripes in the past has been that I have a Batchelor’s Degree that I don’t use (BArch). Well, I intend to use this one, and not only because I enjoy the potential. - Leave the Camarilla
I’m sorry, I’m leaving. In fact, I forgot to renew my membership, and I’m hard-pressed to renew it just to wrap things up. This isn’t because I’m bitter, this isn’t because I hate anyone; Hell, if I was any judge the things that other people find incredibly morally objectionable I merely consider a curious expression of other people’s view of the world. Nevertheless, I’m hard pressed to find a real reason in my mind, save “It just doesn’t feel right anymore”. That spark of excitement that I felt when confronting other characters is just gone, the desire to tell a story other than my own has faded. Politics don’t intrigue me anymore, and while I love to attend the occasional convention to drink and party with everyone, the kind of social connection I really want right now isn’t really being satisfied with a few hugs in the hallway between watering holes. Given that I don’t really have a local chapter with whom I am socially involved to keep me interested, and the online games just don’t do the trick, I am simply not… motivated anymore. This hurts, because I feel like I’m leaving a whole lot of people behind while spitting in their faces and saying “I’m sorry, you’re not enough to keep me around”, but that’s really not my intent here. There are some whom I love, more whom I consider to be awesome friends, yet more whom I’d love to get to know better. Just cutting that out hurts, and believe you me I won’t be simply cutting people out completely. Just… well, assume that unless we have a lot in common that doesn’t involve current events in the Cam, we’ll have very little to talk about. - Stop being lonely
This will likely be the hardest, because it’s the hardest to define. Lets face it, I live a solitary life. Even while dating Megan the long distance made it such that the shell of independence was maintained. The last time I was genuinely attracted to someone was ICC, and it turned out she was both taken and lived on the wrong side of the country. Continued attempts at flirting, dancing, online dating and whatnot have lead to one rejection after another, and all this has done is encourage a world view where I don’t need anyone else. That’s why this one’s so hard to define, because it may be cracking through my shell, or it may be just making myself more receptive, or it could be lowering my standards a bit, or it could be reconnecting with my local friends in a more-than-email way, or a myriad of other things. - Simplify My Life
Looking through my apartment I see a lot of items that I really don’t need, nor use, nor want anymore. Things I do that simply add to the complexity, demand attention, take up space or whatnot. This needs to change, and I’m starting to take the first steps along that path with the removal of most of the detritus of my college years. Soon enough my entire posessions will hopefully consist solely of items I use regularly (if not frequently).
The Big One, however, is to cease living with obligations, but that’s something psychological that I doubt I’ll be able to figure out in a year. Basically it means that I want to find the spark of desire again. I don’t want to do things because I have to, or people expect me to: I want to do things because I want to. It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve done that, and I’m at something of a loss on where to start- the things I want these days are… calm, almost domestic, and lack the spark of fire I’m used to from a few years back.
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