Let me begin this with the unequivocal, undeniable, and extremely accurate statement that I am not, ever have been, or ever intend to be homosexual on an either full time or part time basis. I know what I’m talking about, I’m not in denial, I’m not secretly a cross dresser or have any other strange weird habits that are best not brought up in public. I’m straight, no and’s, if’s or but’s, and no matter how many men hit on me makes me able to overcome the fact that they are bumpy in all the wrong places.
Got that? Good.
As anyone who’s been around me for more than half an hour or so can attest to, I flame more than a broadway chorus line. I also love to dance, thus have assumed a certain… ahem… flair, and as a result I set off gaydar’s simply by walking into a room. This isn’t exactly a bad thing- the entire term metrosexual has been coined to describe people like me… except unlike the true metrosexual I’m not really an art snob and my sense of fashion is best described by what it isn’t than by what it is.
Now, normally I’d laugh it off, but today has… sparked my frustration about the entire situation. Why now? It was pointed out to me that my less than stellar dating success (understatement) might be a direct result. It’s funny how something so obvious to an outside observer can escape my own notice, but now that it has I’m mildly worried about my long-term love life. And, most of all, how I’m going to react to this.
Fact is, I love who I am. I love the things I do, I love my job, my friends, and frankly life couldn’t be going better right now. I even love being single- the independence is nice, I love being able to do what I want when I want it, and even though I’ve been single for a little too long at this point I’m not about to rush into something just because I’m lonely.
An yet that biological pressure remains, and now that I have something measurably ‘wrong’ to point at as a cause, I’m worried I’m going to start overcompensating to overcome it. I’m sure we can both imagine a long list of activities and actions that would fit in that category, so let’s just not go there, alright? I’m not about to go hunt and kill small animals, buy a sports car or so similarly idiotic things just to shore up my own ego (It really doesn’t need it).
I guess the long and short of this post is that I’m really not going to change anything about who I am and what I do, because I like who I am. I’m just venting.