As someone who’s started to dance late in life and has been doing it for a few years now, I figured I’d offer a few pointers on how to make that wish a reality. But first things first, lets dispel some myths:

1. Myth 1: Dancing is Hard

   The learning curve of any new skill begins with a sharp incline, and dance is no different. It takes a certain amount of bull-headedness and determination to work your way up that, but every subsequent dance becomes measurably easier once you’ve made the first ascent. I won’t lie and say it’s a breeze, but I will adamantly stand by my statement that it’s the first one that’s the hardest, and that it’s not as hard as you might think.

   Having said that, imagine yourself just having walked off a club dance floor, heart pumping, endorphins running through your system, sweaty and out of breath. Now imagine not having done the standard generic club bump-and-grind, but instead a full set worth of coordinated partner dancing.

   In other words, yes. It’s worth the effort.

2. Myth 2: It takes Years of Practice

   It takes exactly one hour to learn a dance, though it takes a lifetime to refine it. Even professional dancers never stop learning, and they have the added handicap of having to keep up with every style there is, which is no small feat. If you want to be a professional that’s one thing, but if you just want to learn enough to look good on the dance floor and have fun doing it, you’ll quickly realize it takes far, far less time. No guarantees about dance addiction though, once you get hooked, you’ll never stop wanting to learn more .

3. Myth 3: Lessons are Expensive

   This, to some extent, is true. Ballroom studios are businesses, and since they are the only places where you can learn some of the more formal dances (Viennese, Foxtrot, etc) they will charge you somewhere between $75 – $125 per private lesson. Group lessons at studios are generally cheaper, but they are usually used as tasters- they’ll teach you enough to whet your appetite and then hand you the bill if you want to learn more.

   What they don’t want you to know is that there exist vibrant, active, social dance communities that will charge you far less than they do. Here, the “taster” group lessons are attached to a clubs’ themed dance night and are usually part of the cover charge, and if you want to learn more there are intermediate and advanced group lessons that will cost you somewhere between $10 and $15 a session (at most). In other words, for every expensive lesson there’s a cheaper alternative, you just have to know where to look.

4. Myth 4: I Have No Sense Of Rhythm

   Believe it or not, you do, you just have to know where to find it. The best place to look is your heartbeat, though the second hand on a clock could serve as a good substitute.

5. Myth 5: I Need a Partner

   This is a two-sided problem- either your Significant Other isn’t interested or you’re afraid of being left on the sidelines when the music starts.

   Believe it or not, there are fewer couples in the dance community that you might think. If Dance isn’t a defining element of your relationship already (or you don’t really want to make it one), it’s probably best if your partner doesn’t join you on nights out. Not only will it prevent jealousy when you dance with others, but it’ll ensure that you don’t ruin the scene for each other if things don’t work out.

   As for being left on the sidelines, make sure you go to the group lessons first. They never require a partner, and are an excellent way of introducing yourself and making friends. Soon enough you’ll be expanding into the social scene and meeting all the cool people out there, and won’t be hurting for a partner.

Step 1: Decide to Learn

Also known as “Get your ass off that couch”. Seriously, people, the largest obstacle standing between you and that dance floor is the motivation to start learning. I won’t lie and tell you it’ll be easy, and it will certainly take a while until you feel really comfortable, but I can guarantee that you will have fun every step of the way. So take a long, hard look at that nascent dream of sweeping across parquet flooring and dedicate yourself toward achieving it.

I have two specific notes here, the first for guys: It’s ok to admit that you’re intimidated by it- skill is a hard thing to achieve, and the last thing you want to do is look like an idiot on the dance floor. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, I’ve fallen over in front of everyone. It will take you about two months of weekly practice to really feel like you’re comfortable, but after you overcome the initial hump you’ll be happy you did. Why? Because for every guy that’s on the dancefloor there are 10 wallflowers wishing they were you.

The second note is for everyone: While social convention has it that women follow and men lead, in practice this is less and less the case. I will be referring to partners as leads and follows, and furthermore want to point out that there is no difference in difficulty between each: Follows have to learn just as much as Leads do, and while the skills are often different one is by no means less difficult than the other.

Step 2: Pick a Style

The Style you choose to learn is perhaps the most important step, because it’ll greatly affect how much you enjoy learning. There are some styles that are extremely difficult and can be quite frustrating at times, while there are others that are so simple that you’ll wonder what’s kept you so long. It’s my personal recommendation that you start with what’s known as the “Social” dances: They’re easy to learn, have active vibrant communities, and most of all learning them won’t break the bank. For those of you who are determined to really dig into the entire breadth of what’s available, there are plenty of ballroom studios that do a series of broad introductory lessons, but they can be much more expensive.

East Coast Swing

This is the bread, butter and foundation of all of the swing dances, and serves as an excellent springboard into West Coast, Lindy Hop, Balboa and Charleston. It comes in two different styles, single-time and triple-time, the former of which is much better for faster tempos. The music ranges all the way from Big Band Classics such as Sing, Sing, Sing to far more contemporary Ska, and chances are you can find a vibrant and local swing community anywhere.

Speaking personally, Swing is fun. Fun, fun, and more fun. You can look absolutely spectacular doing it, but the focus of the dance is more about enjoying yourself than pulling every move off flawlessly. Contests exist for the super competitive, but even there you can tell that they’re not doing it for the medal, they’re doing it for the enjoyment.

Salsa

Salsa is, much like the condiment, characterized by the fact that it’s hot and composed of lots of different individual styles. There is no single right way of dancing Salsa, and local flavors color the steps practically everywhere. While you might learn the basic steps of one style, soon enough you’ll be blending in moves that originated in others, and as such your breadth as a dancer will spread rapidly without you even knowing.

What is important to note is that there are three distinct “major” styles of Salsa. On-1, On-2, and Cumbia. The first two are effectively Mambo danced on different beats (On-2 is much harder to figure out than On-1) and the last is almost an entirely different style that’s danced extensively throughout Latin America.

Speaking personally, Salsa is all about passion. Latin Dances have a very sensuous reputation which can really add to an amazing experience on the floor, but it comes with a cost: This same reputation attracts sleaze, which can be a major turnoff for both leads and follows. The secret? Sleaze gets discouraged easily, and only the most misguided and desperate return night after night. In other words, it’ll be obvious whom you should avoid.

Rather than braving it alone, I recommend you find a friend or two to go with the first few times until you can get a better idea of who’s safe and who isn’t. It’ll be pretty obvious, just take a look and find the dancers who clearly know what they’re doing.

Argentine Tango

Where Swing and Salsa are all about energy, Argentine Tango (not to be mistaken with International Tango) is all about subtlety. Even basic students will quickly realize that the amount of control and communication that can happen with a simple step or weight shift is extremely difficult to master, and the fact that the music is very straightforward makes this an excellent dance for the beginner. It is by far the most challenging of the three, but the lessons of balance, control and physical communication will give you a foundation that will make learning any new dance much, much easier. You can brute-force your way to a reasonable level of skill in Swing and Salsa, but in Argentine it simply won’t fly.

Other Styles

While I’ve only listed the popular social dances above, they are by far not the only ones out there- they are merely the ones I recommend to someone trying to get their feet wet. They also happen to all be extremely popular in the western world (I know nothing about China and India), so you should have no problem finding lessons or places to go dance. If you have questions about any other specific styles (Waltz, Viennese, Foxtrot, Tango and whatnot), I’d be more than happy to answer them in the comments. They are by no means lesser than the ones I have mentioned, and are fantastic in their own way.

Step 3: Find Some Lessons

This is the easy bit, especially if you’re anywhere close to a university. Lessons are often as little as a google search away, and chances are there’s a dance scene right under your nose- you just have to look.

When looking for your first lesson I recommend either going to a club group lesson or, if you can find it, an introductory group series provided by your local dance community. Expect 4-8 lessons series that’ll start with the basics and get you through some foundational turns and embellishments, and they’ll cost somewhere in the $40-$100 range for the entire series. Many times they’ll be coupled with an open practice session where nobody will think twice about helping you drill and refine what you’ve just learned.

Step 4: Enjoy Yourself!

Relax and enjoy yourself. You’re learning something that’s new, fun, social, and while you’ll run into a few bumps along the way I can guarantee that those will seem trivial in hindsight when compared to all the fun times you’ve had.

And, if all else fails, give me a ring. I’ll be glad to join you if I’m ever in town!

Of course there are some caveats- I scaled my speed down to a 10 minute mile with ten second negative splits on the mile, so other than the distance increase I wasn’t really pushing myself. Even so it feels like a significant accomplishment not only because it’s the longest I’ve ever run in my entire life, but because I’ve also managed to break past the 3.1 mile mental barrier that comes with training for a much shorter race.

What really struck me about the whole experience is how easy it was to go the extra mile(s). Once I’d gotten up to speed and convinced my body it wasn’t stopping anytime soon, it was just a matter of keeping my mind occupied while my feet did all the work. My iPod really helped with that, but I’m told the bigger races don’t allow headphones. I can already imagining myself stopping after the 3rd mile because I got bored and saw something shiny lying in the road.

Also, pacing is a challenge. It’s easy enough on a treadmill, but when I run outdoors it’s hard for me to throttle back right at the start because I have no real way yet of judging how fast I’m going. This will probably come with time- after all, I started running when it was cold out and I’m a huge wuss about running in subzero weather. Once the weather gets nicer and I can actually run to work I’ll hopefully get better at this.

I find it odd that so many people who train for marathons treat them as single-shot goals. If I’m going to train for something of that magnitude I’d rather build up to it gradually so it’s something I can do on a regular basis, rather than give my all for one big herculean effort and then go back to life as usual.

So where to go next? Well, the mileage buildup program I’m on right now is having me do 6 miles (~10K) next weekend, so I’m within spitting distance of one of my goals. Additionally there’s a half marathon in April that I might accelerate my training for, but part of me isn’t quite ready to make the commitment yet: I want to make sure I’m comfortable at longer distances first (see above), and I still haven’t decided if running is going to supplant dance as my primary personal time suck.

Speaking of dance, on a whim I went to a Swing dance workshop in Dayton last Saturday (whose web page seems to have disappeared), and I had an awesome time (though they ran late and thus I had to miss the last lesson). Reading the description of the event you might have thought that it was a standard series of classes with fancy names- starting with the basics and then building on the same. In reality, the classes assumed that you had some Lindy background already, and rather than boring everyone with relearning the basic, really dug into the nuances and details of good technique. In short, it was Basic Lindy for Advanced Dancers. A day extremely well spent.

Of course, the event also came with a bit of a somber note; on the drive back my mind went into self analysis mode and came to the rather alarming realization that I am once again falling into my old Pittsburgh social patterns: I end up a part of so many social groups that I never seem to be able to really belong to any single one. How I personally define this problem is fairly moot, because I already know what the solution is: I have to give something up. Be it running, be it dance, be it blogging or cooking or my geeky gaming habits, something has to go so I can refocus on the remainder and really commit to them.

Is this anything new? Are you kidding? I’ve known this for years.